A different point of view
It’s funny, when I remember heading off to college I never once thought about it from my parents point of view. For me it was a new adventure in a new city with new people. I had my acid washed jeans, CD player ( first one at my college) an Apple II c with dot matrix printer, and some quarters from my mommy to call my mommy. What more did I need?
I didn’t think much about studying, but more about getting out on my own. I didn’t think about calling my mom and dad, or how they felt, just how my hair looked (yep I had a lot of it at that time). I didn’t think about the significance of getting a degree, I just thought about the significance of having free food and a free gym within walking distance of my home ( at the time, I thought of them as free, now I know better, much better).
I know at the time I thought I was ancient and wise, ready to be out on my own. I know that I had to be much more mature, much more prepared for the real world than my kids. There is no way they could be the way I remember myself.
There is a Subaru TV commercial that touches my heart. It shows a daddy talking to his little 7-year-old girl who is sitting behind the wheel of a car, getting ready to make a trip to college. In reality the girl is 18 years old, but in his eyes she is still 7.
That is how I feel. I feel like we are letting our little kids go out on their own. Surely they are not as mature as I was at the age. Surely they aren’t ready to leave us. It can’t be. I just know I was much more mature, much more adept at being on my own. Sure my grades did not reflect that, but that’s not the point. The point is that they are too young to be out on their own. It’s as if they went from 3 years old to 18 years old in a week. All the in between stuff is a blur.
Alli and Dorian have almost had two full weeks of college now, and they are both still alive, both going to classes, both making friends, and even doing their own laundry ( ummm, I don’t remember doing laundry. I do remember putting a dead squirrel in the girls dryer). In contrast, I spent most of my time socializing, playing hoops and eventually getting married, all mature activities, or at least I thought so at the time. In fact, I think I still have those quarters my mommy gave me.
As we began letting our first little birdies fly out the nest, I wish I could crawl into their heads and see what they are thinking and feeling. I wish I could calm their nerves and anxiety, and I wish I could see where they will be four years from now. But I bet I already know, and I bet it isn’t much more different from the way I felt 20 + years ago. Probably the only thing that they wish was the same as my time is that they had to have a quarter to call us. Unfortunately for them, mommy and daddy bought them smart phones with email, text and actual phones and we can talk to them a hundred times a day if we want, and I am sure they love it! If they don’t, we can take the phones back and give em some quarters.