The life and times of the Godfrey ten.

Hay, Hay we’re the Monkee’s

Have you ever felt like you were lost, going in circles, unable to figure out where you should go next, then looking to heaven for guidance? Well I have, literally a couple of weeks ago. You see, apparently a yearly tradition around here is the hay maze at the Solid Rock Bible Camp. Now we had never heard of the hay maze, but it sounded like great fun. I envisioned a giant maze six feet high, dead ends, running aimlessly looking for exits, laughing, frolicking and all that great stuff. Well it wasn’t quite like that. You see the hay maze was definitely a maze, but instead of six feet high it was about 20 inches high in most of the maze.

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bravely waiting our turn to enter the amazing maze of no return

Jake comforting Tracy prior to entering the amazing maze of no return

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once you enter the red barn you may never leave

Now if you have never been in a maze of hay that is 20 inches high, there are a couple things to think about. Hay absorbs sound like a Shamwow sucks up soda. So your screams for help, well all they do is get you more freaked out and make you short of breath. Bricks of hay block out light, all light, and believe me when I say lighters are not an option. When you only have 20 inches to work with, you cannot use your knees, especially if you are full-grown, or over grown as in my case. So the military slide is a necessity, and doing the military slide over hay, well let’s just say hay will find its way in every area of your body, and I mean everywhere, especially when it is hanging over head. So if hay absorbS sounds like a Shamwow, then it absorbs air like a Super Shamwow mop with a mega twist handle for only 3 payments of $9.99. There is not a lot of air to breath in the hay maze, and I am not even claustrophobic; Tracy is. So I must admit that I was extremely proud of her when she conquered her fears and entered the maze, after much self deliberation and an external internal conversation.

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Following dad into the maze, what brave smiles.

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the bridge is the only place you can stand straight up and see any natural light

Once inside there really is no turning around, there is one way and that way is unclear. Luckily for us we all had flashlights and me, with a Game Warden’s keen sense of direction. Now prior to entering the maze I was given a hot tip, “look up”. Hmmm, I can’t even turn my bloody head, how am I gonna look up? I thought to myself as I came to the first crossroads. Right or left, right it was, with Jake, Ben, Kassie and my gasping wife in tow. “Worry not” I yelled, to myself as they could not hear me. “Hmmmm, this looks familiar.” And I realized we had just done our first full circle, all the sudden I felt a little short of breath, worried not for myself of course, but for those bravely laughing as if they were having fun behind me. This time I quickly took a left. I must have been going a little fast as I left everyone behind, but of course I had to scout out an escape route. Then I remembered to glance up to heaven, and out of the corner of my eye, on the edge of my L.E.D light I could make out the shape of wood, “ladder”. I quickly climbed to make sure it could hold the weight of the others, and at the top I had a little more head room, and there seemed to be more air. I was sure Tracy was far behind screaming and thrashing about, kicking over bails of hay looking for an emergency exit. To my surprise, she showed up shortly after I had helped the little ones and scolded them for excessively laughing and giggling to hide their fears and embarrassing their mother.

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Jake screaming with fear... or laughing with fear... maybe just laughing

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ben & kassie in the bridge area, the area of breathing I like to call it

Ben freaking out

The maze continued on like that, with bridges and areas you could stand, and more crawling, crawling so tight you had to turn sideways to get through. It even had a slide, and a fireman’s pole at the end. A pvc one where I learned that you do not want to wrap hands tightly around pvc and slide, especially if you need to have readable fingerprints.

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Tra bringing up the rear and doing a fine job

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waiting for mom, boy the flash sure makes a difference

All in all it was a lot of fun, for the kids. Tracy and I even did it a second time with them, just to show them how they could be brave and conquer their fears, not having to hide them behind huge smiles, giggles and words like ” this is so much fun” “this is awesome!” ” can I lead this time”. The false bravado touches a father’s heart. The best part of the hay maze, between all of picking hay out of …… areas, is that we had enough to make quite the bedding for our rabbit. Did you know hay sticks to tears?

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Escaping from the jaws of the evil beast! Note Jake running full speed away.

One response

  1. Tammy

    The maze sounded like a blast wish I coulve been there.Whouldve love to see Tracy ask her bout the elevator in our hotel in jamaica

    November 9, 2009 at 3:14 pm

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