Infinite Pleasure; guaranteed.
While Guanacaste is not known for its massive shopping options, Liberia does have some stores that are fun to frequent. First of all, one needs to understand that the towns in Guanacaste appear to have lacked the vision of a city planner. Instead, they are built around a town center. Everything emanates from the town center. Liberia, the biggest city in Guanacaste is no exception. There is a beautiful town center right next to the big Catholic cathedral. Then all around that are little shops, shoe stores, electronics, clothes, food, shoes, and more shoes. They like their shoes here. Everything is made to be within walking distance from the town center. For those who drive, it is exceptionally scary as cars park anywhere they want, taxis and locals ignore traffic lights, and skateboarders seem to have as much right as any car on the road. To further complicate matters, there are dozens of unmarked one way streets. The only way to tell, peer down the road and see if there are cars parked facing the way you want to go.
Liberia Catholic Church
Needless to say, it is better to park and walk when you need to do some serious shopping. Now I am like most men and I don’t enjoy shopping. I don’t mind buying, I just don’t like shopping. I can hike for 20 miles, through marsh, alders and mountains looking for a deer with tiny little antlers, but 10 minutes in a mall and my back feels as if it requires immediate surgery. However, I have found a new joy in Liberia. I have found these discount stores that sell stuff from all over the worlds, knock offs of actual products, and the best part, they are translated from Spanish, to English by Chinese. This makes for a great time as I search diligently for new and improved translations. It is almost like hunting, and the best part, I don’t have to spend any money. It is my own personal treasure hunt. I have a few here I would like to share with you.
Costa Rican ingenuity
I have always wanted to find the best welcome gift for children
Hmmmm, this looks familiar.
Look on the bottom right corner, this is a deluxe racing sport.
Infinite pleasure, that's a pretty high standard. I still play with mine!
This one simulates a true style radio control car. So it isn't a radio controlled car, it is a car that simulates a radio controlled car that simulates a real car?
- This is a mouthful, but the best part is that the antennae is already broken, so that's one less thing for the kids to break.
Fists of Fury
I have been known to watch the occasional mixed martial arts bout as I enjoy watching guys with an over abundance of tattoos getting pounded by a dude with only one tattoo. However, I don’t condone fighting, and we put the kiabash to it as soon as it occurs in this house, unless it is entertaining. Now some people train for years to build up the skill to become mixed martial artists. They spend 6-8 hours a day in the gym doing the same moves over and over until they are engrained in their muscles and their memory. To them it is as common as blinking. They box tirelessly for hours, sweat flying off their body with every punch, moving up and down, weaving and keeping light on their feet. They learn to punch when they have no strength left, when their legs are collapsing from underneath them, they can still throw a punch, and throw it hard. It takes years of concentration, practice, pain, sacrifice and injury to become a good MMA fighter, and it takes fortitude, guts and sheer will to become a great MMA fighter. Some people, well some people are just born with those skills. They just know how to fight, how to win, and how to never give up, no matter how hard they are kicked in the face. But mostly they know how to dodge a punch or a kick ( Vitor). The following video is just one of those people who have been born with the obvious skills. They took the time to come to our house and show us some moves, so that we could learn from their prowess and better our own skills. A selfless act to be sure. And thanks to Kinect, we got some great live action shots. So please enjoy the following video clip and pay special attention to some new moves and some real fancy footwork by the female fighter on the right. A natural to say the least.
Not Me
It has become readily apparent to us that our house is haunted by naughty little imps. We have denied it for years, but lately the evidence has mounted to a point that to deny it would be sheer foolishness. We didn’t have to use a Geiger monitor, infrared cameras, or laser detectors; We don’t have pictures of them, we haven’t talked to them, no one has, and we haven’t seen them, just the trail of destruction they leave in their wake. I have thought about installing some trail cameras, but everyone knows they cannot be captured on a simple camera, again foolishness. So instead we have decided to live them, at least for the time being.
I can hear you screaming ” How do you know, what evidence? ” Well let me share the evidence with you, but be forewarned, your eyes will no longer be closed and you too will likely start encountering the impish little fiends in your abode as you are awakened to the clues surrounding you.
#1: Who keeps tracking wetness into the house? It isn’t Tracy, it isn’t me and it isn’t Shyla. Each and every one of my children swear it isn’t them. So the evidence tells me that these imps put on the kids shoes, when they are wet, and march around the house with nary a care. Leaving the kids shoe prints for all the world to see.
Backpacks laying around and nobody put them there. Exhibit #1
#2 Who keeps eating all the potato chips and putting the empty bags back in the pantry? And who is putting a small sip of backwash milk in the fridge? Tracy and I don’t eat chips or drink milk, and Shyla could’ve done it, but she prefers to eat food that falls on the floor. Again, it wasn’t any of our kids as they keep telling us to a child “not me!” So again, who could it be? You do the math.
#3. Who keeps leaving the kids coats, blankets, shirts, pants and shoes strewn around the house? Again, Tra & I are out as suspects, Shyla, well she does get an occasional sock and run around the house like a cat with its tail on fire . But I have never seen her dragging anything other than socks, and a coat is definitely too big for mouse dog. So that once again leaves the kids and when each and everyone is confronted they all say “not me”, even if it was their clothes, shoes or coat. So once again the facts all point to one direction.
shoes just spread randomly on the floor. Exhibit #2
I could go on and on and on with all the evidence, broken faucets, tools, toys and games, missing tools, doors left open, lights left on, water left running and chores that were sworn to be finished, undone by the imps.
a jacket thrown mysteriously on the rug. Exhibit #3
So, based purely on evidence, it has become evident that not only are these fiends messing with us, they are attempting to frame our kids for their crimes! I am furious just thinking about it.Why can’t they pick on someone their own size and leave our innocent little never-do-anything-wrong kids alone? We often feel guilty accusing our kids of such misdoings, but I must continue to eliminate suspects, as that is what I do. It has gotten so bad that the little creatures have started dragging out my stuff and leaving all over; my shoes, coats, hats everything! An obvious attempt to frame me now that I am on to them!
another jacket, almost shoved into the vacuum in an obvious attempt to disable the vacuum. Exhibit #4
Now that you know, pay attention to the evidence around your house, especially if you have kids and often if you have a husband. Soon you will begin to notice the misdoings of these unseen critters
my desk, again with mysterious items strewn about in an attempt to frame me.
and perhaps you will be the first one to get photographic evidence. And if you need to borrow my Geiger meter, just let me know and I’ll ask the kids if they have seen it around. I swear I had it sitting on my desk.
House full of sickies
Name something that’s easy to catch, hard to get rid of, and often shared; You guessed it, the flu, or any kind of sickness for that matter. Everyone knows how brutally any virus spreads amongst a school full of children. Children that seldom wash hands and often put them places they ought not be. Well in a large family, a virus spreads much the same way. Only one of us has to catch it and then we can share it with everyone in the house. We are givers, that’s what we do. It’s funny how it spreads in our house. Usually one person gets it and is miserable for days, then just when they get better one or two people get it, and as they are getting better the rest of us get it. I call it sickness by thirds. I can’t recall a time when we all got sick at exactly the same time, unless you count the bad Chinese food.
Of course the reason I am blogging about this now is that we are currently fighting this battle, and this is a pretty good one; 3-4 days of high fevers, hacking, coughing, vomitting and crying. The crying is me because I keep getting my sleep interrupted by sick pitiful children begging mom for help. So far, every time we have been capabable of battling through the other side, stronger for it. I believe this time will be no different, although the rest of the family will have to contend with a grouchy bear of a dad if I don’t get some sleep one of these nights.
two sickies doing what sickies do
I find it pretty amazing that no matter when you share the story of your families sickness, it is almost always met with the ” I heard that is going around” comment. The odd thing is I heard that even with the bad chinese food. None-the-less, I have heard that this is going around right now.
The chink in our armor is Tra. You see any one of us can get sick and things just move along quite peachy. But when mom is sick, that’s when the whole system starts to fall apart. Mom’s are nurturing, loving, caring, healing, loving, nurturing, you get the point. Dads; “suck it up and walk it off. Have you sat on the pot yet? Gargle some salt water and it will be all better. Try to throw up quieter, I can’t hear the TV, and it will help you fell better too.” Not a lot of sympathy or nurturing, but lots of loving, tough loving. The irony is if dads get sick we need the most of mom’s qualities than any other member of the household. For some reason the sickness always hits the dads the hardest and makes us the sickest. I’m sure it has something to do with body weight, the heavier the victim the more intense the Illness. It makes us almost immobile, and causes whining sounds emit from our vocal cords. We are nearly paralyzed with pain, needing to be waited on hand an foot. Our every need tended to by the most nurturing, loving person in the house. However, I have noticed she must be taking notes on my style, because the last time my medicine was a dose of ” get up and take a shower,you’ll feel better, and you smell”. Nurturing and tough love at its best.
A couch full of sickies, note sickie medicine.
When moms get sick the whole system collapses. Personally I have been getting better, keeping the kids quiet, the house clean ( at least to my standards), and tending to my wife’s every need as long as it doesn’t involve a lot of work, or is needed during my favorite show. Finally, I make sure and leave a few things so she won’t feel left out, you know things like some dirty laundry and dishes. I can tell she appreciates it because as soon as she emerges from her den of sickness, she immediately gives me some of that tough love which just makes me all warm and fuzzy inside. Or is that a fever coming on?
Primero semester de espanol Love Song (cancion de amor)
In honor of upcoming transfer of latitudes, and the fact that my two high schoolers are in Spanish II Or Espanol dos, as we prefer to call it, I present you the First Semester of Spanish Love Song.
I took three years of Spanish in High School / College so I can understand the language decently. However recalling it is quit another challenge. One technique that helped me was the songs.
In High School I absolutely abhorred the songs. I hated singing them, I hated learning them, but most of all I hated performing them. Yes we performed the songs. Every year at Christmas time our teacher, Ms. Heitkamp, would give us a list of songs to learn. We would then practice the songs for weeks culminating with our grand tour. The tour consisted of the Social Studies, Algebra, and History classes all in one morning. It was exhausting, even for a performer of my caliber. Further, performing so close to the audience adds another uncomfortable dimension to the show. I like distance between me and my fans, we were right on top of them and I could see my fellow basketball team mates snickers, my fellow “cool crowd” pimple faced buddies pointing, and everyone else holding it in the best we can as the chorus of “Rudolph el Benedito” rang throughout the halls. It was quite terrifying, and I am sure it was quite hideous to observe and hear. I am just ever so thankful phone cameras and YouTube had not yet been invented. However, as horrifying as it was, I can still recall most of the lyrics when needed. So if I ever meet someone with a bright nose and I need them to help me through a snowstorm on my sleigh, I can whip out “Jefe, con nariz de luz, quieres guirre me autobus?”
So in honor of all that and without further adieu, I give you an oldie but a goodie, the first semester of Spanish Love Song. Enjoy, sing along and you too will soon be speaking enough spanish to get you through Los Angeles.
I remember when:
Scrolling through my iphone I am often amazed at the luxuries of life that seemed to slowly develop into a “necessary” part of my life. I often snicker to myself when I think back to the way things were, and I roll my eyes when I recall how it was for my mom & dad or my grandparents, or so they tell me. I used sit in fascination listening to them tell me of the old days and how hard it was. Yet, as they spoke you could see their lips curl up in near formation of a smile, and their eyes glisten as they half preach half story-tell from their memory.
I find it easy to recall the good times and to glamorize the bad times. It will always be better for our generation,and that goes for every generation. And I imagine as I sit in my anti-gravity rocking chair with a warm blanket hung around my shoulders, slippers donned upon my feet and a grandchild or two sitting on my lap, I too will tell stories of the good and bad times; the times before 4G and wireless internet, the times prior to electric cars and wrist top computers, and as the kids look into my face holding their 3D holographic i-air, smelling the ultra organic coffee tablet upon my breath, they will see a smile creep up and my eyes glisten as I recall the glorious bad times and the wonderful good times, longing to go back. Until then, and in honor of the New Year, I thought I would share some of the things I remember, in hopes that it would jog your memory and cause you to smile just a touch, and that you too would share with all of us some of yours.
I remember when:
All phones had cords.
Green color is a bonus.
Dialing a phone actually meant you had to turn a dial with your finger, and if you had a party line you had to wait for your neighbor to hang up. If you wanted to make a collect call, you had to call the operator and tell her, yes it was always a her, what you wanted to do.
Velcro first appeared on shoes, my blue Roos.
I saw my first VCR, it was the size of a small Volkswagen. I remember the first movie I watched on the VCR, it was not age appropriate.
You had to crush the keys on a typewriter to make it work, and there was no backspace, and if you pressed more than one key; traffic jam! ( Thanks to Emily & Phil and their sign in at their wedding for this one, classic!)
Movie theaters used to be huge and used to show double features, and you didn’t have to get a 90 days same as cash loan to get some snacks. I remember watching Godzilla at a double feature and being in awe of such an awesome creature.
Cartoons weren’t on 24/7 on 13 different channels. If you wanted to watch cartoons you got up early on Saturday, turned on the TV, watched the snow on tv and waited for the national anthem while eating copious amounts of cereal. Even then they were only on for 3-4 hours, most of which was Bugs Bunny, and often cut short if that stupid Wide World of Sports came on.
errr, what's up doc?
We got so excited for Christmas, Halloween, and Easter, not for the celebration but because we got “bonus” cartoons like Charlie Brown, or Riki Tiki Tavi.
We used to spend hours looking through the Sears or JC Penney catalog circling our wants and desires for birthdays and Christmas. We had to do this in June so that they would arrive by Christmas.
They always come back in style, that's why I still have ll my stuff
When we went to McDonalds we actually had to tell them that we wanted a Big Mac, Large Fries and a medium 7-UP. You did not order by number because that had not been invented yet. The only numbers were on your bill, and it was less than $5.
I saw my first remote control, it was for a VCR and it was connected with a long cord, which seems to be a good way to keep from losing the remote.
classic remote, again along the lines of having to crush the buttons to make it work. We were stronger and skinnier then because of all this extra calorie burning.
I saw my first cell phone, it was connected to a car battery ( at least it looked like one) and a guy brought it into a restaurant I was working at and he actually got a call. Thing is, he was yelling so loud into the phone he didn’t even need the phone, I am sure the guy would’ve heard him just fine without it.
The only way you got bottled water was to use one of your used Coke bottles and fill it up with tap water.
I saw my first TV show, it was Captain Kangaroo in black and white on a 10 inch TV, with a UHF and VHF dial. Unfortunately I haven’t turned the TV off since then!
The Captain! That moose is Legal!
I played my first video game, it was pong on that same TV. I was amazed, and we played for hours; after all it seemed to take hours to set up. In my memory, I was quite dominant.
Perhaps hockey, table tennis, soccer, lacrosse, and water polo were all inspired by Pong.
Atari was all the rage. I used to get blisters and have black smudge from the rubber control on my hands from Space Invaders and Drag Racing all night long.
I had my first experience with the internet; A geek friend of mine, I think his name was William Gates, made me watch during my lunch hour while we waited for something to arrive over the internet to him. I didn’t know what that meant, or where it was coming from, but I clearly remember what it was. A sandwich, bag of Cheetos, Coke and Thirty minutes later the magic file arrived. He opened it, clicked on it and then I heard Homer Simpson say “Doh” I was amazed, as he clicked it over and over, and obviously I never forgot it.
I got my first computer, it was an Apple II C with a 7 inch green screen monitor. I needed a 5.7 inch floppy to disk to boot the computer, and other than play Space Invaders or Conan the Barbarian, I don’t know what else I did with it. I had a dot matrix printer with the tear away paper with holes on the edge as my printer. I still love the sound of the dot matrix.
My Apple II C, space age technology at the time
I bought my first cd player. I was the only one of my friends that had one and I could only afford one CD, ZZ Top. I remember being fascinated at how fast it spun.
I first heard music through a Walkman. I was amazed at the sound and kept telling Jack, my friend who had told me to listen to his Walkman, to listen at how amazing it sounded. He kept saying, ” I know , I know its mine”.
When I saw my first collection of Laser Discs a neighbor had. I thought he was on the cutting edge, I just didn’t know it was on the edge of extinction.
I had my first piece of Bublicious, I thought it was bubble delicious, soft and huge, for about 72 seconds until it became a rock.
Finally, I remember when my iphone only had one camera lens and no flash, those were hard times.
There’s just a taste and I know there are tons more out there, and they are all different depending on your generation. So share some with us in the comments section so we can all enjoy and recall the good old days when the teenage kids were punks and things were much tougher, and we can small just a little with you.
Awkward Conversations (AC)
Have you ever had an awkward conversation (AC)? I know you have. They are never fun and most often not fruitful. But the unexpected one is a lot loss painful. It’s like jumping off a cliff into the ocean. If you are peering over the edge and someone unexpectedly pushes you over, it’s awful and scary and once you are in it there is no way out until you belly flop, and that’ll leave you stinging and with a red belly, but likely you will survive.
The master of awkward conversations, Michael Scott
In my mind it is even worse when you know you are going to jump off the cliff yourself. You gingerly, slowly walk over to the edge, instantly sweat beads on your forehead, your mouth dry and sticky, you can feel the blood rushing through your veins and doubts flying around your brain like a million racquetballs. Your heart beating so hard that it literally makes you conscious of your breathing. The whole while you put on a brave face , smiling a crooked nervous smile, while fear lurks deep in your eyes. The anticipation of what you have to do, knowing the pain and shear fear seconds away, making it all more nerve-racking than ever.
Seem a little overly dramatic? Not to me. I absolutely hate AC; I don’t mind watching them, I just don’t like being involved in them. I especially hate them when I know they are coming. Seems a little odd in my profession. I mean pretty much every conversation I have is confrontational; I am accusing someone of wrong – doing, grilling them , or talking to them at what they perceive is one of the worst moments of their life.
Why am I having this AC with you all right now? Well I just had one of these, and it was perhaps the worst one I have ever had. I was dreading it for weeks, which obviously made it much worse. I prayed, I thought, I sought advice and waited for God’s timing to have it, yet still it was very rough. Man to man, minimal eye contact, lots of hemming and hawing. But unlike most awkward conversations, this one was an awkward request conversation, so that is like an AC on steroids.
Once it is done, there is usually a sense a relief, just like when you realize that bear charging you out of the woods is your hiking partner trying to scare you, that type of relief. I didn’t get full relief because I left a big Matza Ball out there and I am still waiting for an answer. One thing I have learned is that although I may absolutely dread the thought and action of the AC, I will always regret it more if I don’t follow through. So next time I pull you aside and say “I need to talk to you about something” brace yourself for a belly flop. Then again, you may be one of the freaks that like that AC, and that’s a blog for another day.
As the rain falls, a hero emerges
If you love to get out in the wild, get some piece and quiet, away from the hustle and bustle and get back in touch with the nature, then don’t come camping with us. If you want to eat a lot of food, have fresh coffee every morning, enjoy the rain and the noise of kids running wild, and still have access to the internet, then you want to camp with us.
hopefully Amber and Glenn get this done before bed time.
not very good hiders
my ladies on the bridge
Alli and Jo, on a rock DOWN BY THE RIVER!
Every year we try to get out and rough it at least once a summer. We find a nice cozy campground with water and a bathroom, a latte stand within driving distance, cell signal and preferably a river or lake nearby, and then head out for a night or two of miserable sleep, lots of bug, wet clothes and great company. This year it was us, the Daniels, the Davis’s and some Katzenbergers. So by my math that is 7 adults and 18 kids, or what you may call sheer paradise.
Fishing women
That hole has no fish left, just a hunch
Momma and Jo
Jason in the wilderness, just him and his iphone.
One thing you must know about camping with us, expect rain. Don’t think “it might rain” don’t be fooled by cloudless 70 degree days, don’t even bother looking at the weather, it will rain. If we camped in the middle of the Sahara Desert during the dry season, it would rain. When the Godfrey’s camp, it rains. As long as it is warm, we deal with it. By warm I mean above 50 degrees during the daylight hours.
Did you hear something?
maybe it was a fish
I like your boots Jake
Modeling for momma, cuz she made us
One huge advantage to camping with us is that you don’t usually have to worry about bears. You see the trick is to let all the kids out to run wild all over the campground, screaming, running, throwing things, screaming, crying, screaming and not only would any bear in its right mind stay as far away as possible, so do all other campers. Hence, we usually have the campgrounds to ourself.
Do you think we should be helping them set up the tent?
kids, fire, food, danger?
this crew cooked breakfast all day long
Not cooking, just warming my head.
Jeremy's catch, just a little late for dinner
a little fireside entertainment provided by Jace, hopefully it wasn't the Beastie Boys
During this camping trip I found a true hero. Now hero is a word that is thrown around loosely, but here I witnessed a true one. I believe we established that is going to rain, so I came prepared. This time I brought a tarp, not any tarp, a tarp that could serve as a runway in small village. The only people motivated enough to use the tarp were me and Ryan, so we got to work. As the rain fell we came with a master plan to cover the whole camp with the tarp. Things were going smoothly, the running lines were holding, the trees were well placed, the architectural plan was sound and we just needed everyone to get involved for one final pull to cover the rest of the camp. Unfortunately there was a minor flaw. You see, we already had the fire going. In fact, when we started putting the tarp up, Angie, Tra, Amber and the kids were cooking smores and enjoying the show.
So technically she's not eating in the background, but she is about to, and that's a big bag o chips.
you can't camp without some twister
Scary story time. Skip the story, just look at these faces...
...or these faces
but especially these faces in the light! Yikes!
Fortunately, the kids were excited to play with the earth darkening tarp, and dropped their marshmallow sticks and grabbed hold. Shoot, even Jason and Tra grabbed a corner. This is where it went all wrong. Our plan was to have a lean-to style covering to allow the smoke to escape. But instead, as everyone began to pull, we ended with more of like a giant teepee, with Ryan holding it up where the hole should be. Within seconds we realized this was not a good plan. Immediately we lost our sight due to the density of the smoke, seconds later we could not breathe. I tried to scream for the kids to let go, but I could barely breathe. Then Ryan, standing on a picnic table, holding up the center of the tarp screamed ” EVERYONE OUT” ! As he stayed firm holding up the tarp buried in deadly smoke, allowing all others to escape. This was paramount to shouting “SAVE YOURSELF!!!!!” The words of a true hero. As I ran out, to grab the edge of the tarp mind you, I saw out of the corner of my eye that Angie was still standing by the fire, marshmallow stick in her left hand, finishing the last bite of smore not looking a bit concerned. I would put a picture of this, but she has threatened to kill me if I post one more picture of her eating. Everyone else was coughing, scattering and screaming…. with laughter. Finally I was able to move the tarp, hoping beyond hope that Ryan was still alive, for my CPR had expired a year ago, and to my great relief he emerged, my new hero, with an ashen covered face. He had sacrificed himself for the good of the camp.
from amongst the ashes a hero emerges
the backside of the finished product
the front side of the finished design
enjoying the fruits of our labor and near death experience
Needless to say, we did not give up and eventually the tarp did rise, with a new architectural plan. And much like the tarp, a new hero emerged in my eyes. As I sat chilled, near the crisp fire under the tarp listening to the rain mercilessly beating down, I reflected on what another great camping adventure we had just experienced, then I pulled out my iphone, went to craigslist and started pricing travel trailers.
Thanks a Latte
Having traveled a bit recently, I have come to realize that there are many advantages to living in Alaska. However, none has become more apparent than coffee. Yes, I know you can get coffee anywhere, but you can’t get coffee like we have coffee. You see here in Alaska we do our coffee by drive-by. If you are new or just visiting , you will see this skinny storage sheds with windows on both sides all along side our most traveled roads. These are not storage sheds, they are our local bean pushers. When it is 20 below zero, you really don’t want to get out of your car unless you have to, and for coffee, we don’t have to. On my drive into work, I pass at least 8 of them, and we are in a very small town of about 8,000. Yet there is almost always a car at the window getting its daily fix, or in some cases getting its third or fourth fix for the day.
Hooked on the Bean beaconing for me to pull up and get a fix
If you are like we are, you build a relationship with your coffee girl. For some reason the baristas are pretty much all girls. You can pull up and she will already be making your drink, straws no straws, mints or no mints, 12, 16, or 20 ounce, two or four shots, whatever you get they will have it hot and ready, getting you out of the window as fast as possible. McDonald’s could learn a thing or two from these little ladies.
The coffee huts even have their own currency in the form of unique punch cards, so you don’t need cash every time. How considerate of them. You just hand them the money card, they punch it and pass it back. I wonder if this makes them sovereign? And if you work really hard, and buy lots of coffees, every 12th coffee you get a free one! That right there brings your cost per cup way down.
The Arctic Fox, my favorite stop on the way to church, to Kenai, or whenever I get in my car
But probably my favorite thing is the corniest thing, suprising eh? It is the names of these shacks. Let me share a few, Hooked on the Bean, Cool Beanz, Thanks a Latte, Java Junction, Hot Shots, Coffee Cats, Espresso Yourself, Jitters, Mocha Mutt, Motor Mocha, and they go on, a never-ending puns of bean bliss. So corny they are beautiful, much like pop art.
So until I drive by a small hut in Florida called “Manatee Mocha” I will always be ready to get back home and get a 20 ounce sugar free, white chocolate, americano. Wait a second…. I have a full punch card; a free one is coming! Coffee on me tomorrow! At least the first cup.
The fruits of my labor, the "free" cup of bliss.
It’s a safety dance
This post is in honor of my wife, as it is almost her birthday. To me, she is as perfect as a woman could be. She does, however, have one flaw that I am going to share with God and our blog followers. This flaw is not that big of deal, most of the time, but it can make me angry sometimes, and embarrass me other times. I don’t think she will ever get over it, and I love her in spite of it. It rears its ugly head at the most inopportune times, and yet I think it is pretty much uncontrollable. Have you guessed? Her flaw is that she loves to laugh at other peoples pain. Now I am not talking about kidney stone, root canal type pain. I am talking about people trying to be cool, or just minding their own business and falling, or getting hurt unexpectedly type of pain. When she sees it, she bursts out in laughter.
I get angry when it is me she is laughing at. I get embarrassed when it is others she is laughing at in my presence. Kids are not immune, in fact if they are our kids, it is somehow even just a little bit funnier. The best thing about this flaw, she uses it on herself. Now I won’t say that she is clumsy, but she gets to laugh at herself a lot. So these two videos, oldies but goodies, are for my giggling gal and I hope that any time she needs a laugh she can log on and look. Then maybe she won’t be following me around when I have a hammer in my hand.
So if you are a compassionate, kind, caring person, you may not want to watch the following videos. And if that is true, then you have probably been reading the wrong blog. For the rest of you, those of you that maybe chuckle just a little when someone experiences just a teensy weensy bit O’ pain, then click on, and just remember, we are all fair game.
The Godfrey Goonies
With a family our size, there have often been references to the Brady Bunch or Partridge Family. For those of you too young to recall, these were 70′s TV show icons. The Brady Bunch was cool, and they had some talent, especially in choreography:
But the one that I have often dreamed we were like was the Partridge Family. Here was a family that was a full band. They traveled the world, their misadventures shared through the magic of television. They had kids that sang ( David Cassidy), a kid that played the piano, a kid that played guitar, a seven-year old drummer, a five-year old tambourine player, and a mom that played the keyboard and tambourine. They would make the most wholesome teeny bopper pop music. See for yourself, if you dare.
Why I am writing about the Partridge family? Well, I thought maybe our family could be the next Partridge family. We only have one hurdle, and it’s a very small one; There are only 3 of us with any musical talent at all. Obviously we have other skills, like my surfing. But musically, Tracy & Ben can sing, and Livy can play the piano. Dont’ get me wrong, I sing a lot, and I sing loudly, just not well. Dorian hasn’t sung a note since he was three, Alli, well Alli tries hard, and she is an excellent dancer. Jeremy is learning to play the guitar, with a heavy emphasis on learning. Kassie, she is a very good smiler and gymnast, but I don’t know how much that would help us. Jake and Jo, well they actually sing a lot, but only when they think no one is watching, usually while going potty. So performing live could be an issue.
The reason I bring this up today is because, like they often do, my children surprised me with a performance. Now when they perform, they don’t sing or really do anything, they just dress up come find us, and do their best to look cool. This is the outcome:
The Godfrey Goonies, from left to right: Jammin Jerms, Krooning Kass, Bopping Benny, Lovely Liv, and their security guard, Jive Jake.
So for any of you talent agents out there, you can clearly see we have almost all the bases covered, a large family, a diverse family, awesome attitudes, fraught with misadventures, willing to travel, and THE LOOK! If Milli Vanilli could do it, why can’t we? I, as the manager of this up and coming band, or shall I say musical dynasty, can be contacted via the comments section. We look forward to performing, uhhh standing in front of you.
Happy Valentine’s & The Don’t Song.
I just received this video from my beloved brother-in-law. They have nothing better to do in North Pole than to surf youtube looking for good videos. Anyway, I thought it was extremely appropriate for Valentine’s Day and I thought I should share it with all of you. It contains sage advice, advice that should be heeded and cherished. They put the advice to music so that you will be able to sing along and remember it, much like the alphabet, which every DUI I ever dealt with had to sing to complete. So for you entertainment, education, and enjoyment I present to you The Don’t Song.
The Government Can
I have a couple new posts waiting in the wings, but I am waiting for some pics. I am also working on the Christmas letter, but that takes time and approval from my editor for fact checking. So until then, I figured I would share one of my recent favorite videos with you. I really like the dancing in here, but if you listen closely to the lyrics, they are right on. I dare you to watch the whole thing, if you do,you will be humming or singing it all day.
Our version of the fruitcake
Holiday’s are filled with tradition, they themselves are tradition. Not all traditions are great however. Take for instance the 24 hour salad. The 24 hour salad is our families version of a fruitcake. It shows up every Thanksgiving and sits right in the middle of the table beckoning out for someone to scoop its unmatched combination of fruit, jello, marshmallows, vegetables and more onto their plate. I am not that man. To be fair, I think my mom, Uncle Mort and one other person actually eats the stuff every year. But their taste buds are old and worn out. In fact in the last 20 years I don’t think I have ever seen the bottom of the dish that stuff is melded in.
The 24 hour salad before dinner was served.
My main issue with it is celery. Why in the world is there celery in a gelatin dish? Then combine that with nuts. I don’t know about you, but it takes a lot for me to eat Jello with fruit in it, that is about the extent of the texture I enjoy in my gelatin. When you put nuts and celery in it, it is akin to drinking milk with chunks, your throat will not accept it. Believe me, I have tried. Yet year after year there it sits, usually right in front of me ( very funny mother). It always makes its way to the main table, because if it was on the buffet line no one would take it.
The 24 hour salad after dinner
However, I must admit I am comforted by it. If it was gone, I would miss it, and would ask about it and I would insist it be made, or we could just pull out the original batch from 19?? buried deep inside the deep freeze. Either way, I wouldn’t eat it, but I need it to ground me and to be the tradition that will unite Thanksgiving from 19?? to eternity, for that’s how long it last. Oh, I know you are wondering why it is called 24 hour salad, well I have several theories: 1. That’s how long it takes to make it. 2. That’s how long it takes to gain the courage to eat it. 3. That’s how long it takes to chew it. We accept all other answers or thoughts in the comments section.
I am not trying it, you try it! Where's Mikey?
four turkeys ( five if you count Sean) and no 24 hour salad. It has to be on the main table.
an un-anticipated milestone (or inchstone)
Oh, the second milestone. Shoes, yes shoes. I took Dorian to get his basketball shoes for the season. He is very particular about his shoes, well about everything. But we finally found a pair he liked, with rockets and flubber gel, super jump springs,weighing only one ounce, and they had 7 years same as cash. So that means we can have them paid off by the time he graduates college.
We ordered up his 10 1/2 to 11, the same size his dad wears. He put them on and they looked great, but he said they were a little tight. So the shoe man said “let’s measure his feet” He slid his sock covered feet into the flat metal foot device and after some minor adjustments the salesman proclaims ” he is closer to 11 1/2″. What? That cannot be! He cannot have bigger feet than his dad! So I chortled, “let me see that thing” and slid my sock covered foot into it; 10 1/2 to 11. No one told me that my 15-year-old kid would ever have bigger feet than me, ever be taller than me, no one. It had never ever occurred to me that my 15-year-old would be unable to fit into my shoes. How could this be? He is still several inches shorter than me, and about 200 pounds lighter.
at least mine smell better!
Then I recalled a day, many years and many follicles ago, sitting in the lobby of Bethel Regional High School, socializing with friends. I plopped my size 10/12 foot up on the coffee table, and those next to me exclaimed “holy smokes, dude you have huge feet. You are going to be a giant!”. Obviously I am not a giant, but I do know that I have worn the same size shoes since my freshman year of High School; so I wonder if Dorian will have the same fate?
So now you know the second milestone is that my first child now has bigger shoes to fill than his dad. What is even more frightening is that I still have three boys to go. The good news, when he is done with a pair of shoes, I can borrow them. I may look like a clown, but I am old enough now that I don’t care.
At least mine are much warmer, and much less gnarly I might add.
Location, Location, Location
Did you ever have a lemonade stand? I did, and I think I made about $ 0.75. But I will never forget it. One of my 2-3 paying customers grilled me, as he was drinking his lemonade, regarding my profits. He insisted, with a straight face, that I must report my profits to the IRS. I giggled assuming he was joking, and he never cracked a smile. I was mortified that they would find out, and promptly closed the stand. When I told my dad that I had to report my profits, hey obviously looked at me puzzled, eyebrows furrowed down and said “what the heck are you talking about?” I told him about the guy. It turns out he worked with my dad, and he and my dad had a great laugh over the encounter. At that time, I thought that was cruel and unfairly affected the purchasing power of my Hot Wheels Racing Set. Now, I can’t wait till I get to return the favor.
The world famous Club K.O. Make your reservations now! (note duct tape for atmosphere)
customers pulling in for some "special blend" java.
obviously jacked up on some hi octane joe!
Well times have changed. I came home last month to find a fully operating coffee stand in my driveway. NIRVANA! If you know me, you know I love my coffee. The problem with the stand, it was being operated by my children, with my coffee, and it was being sold. No freebies. But that wasn’t the main problem, the main problem was that is was up our 100 foot, away from any other traffic, other than Tracy and I. So their customer base was limited, very limited. Further, once they figured out their customer base was zero, they began serving each other. Taking turns as imaginary customers with imaginary profits. But I applaud their ingenuity, creativeness, and stealing of my coffee goods. So if you are ever driving by Sterling and have a hankering for a hot, luke warm cup of coffee, dark water, then stop on by club K.O. It is only a few hundred yards out of the way, and for only a few dollars, I promise that you will get service with smile,if they aren’t doing school work, or sleeping, or eating, or playing……… Just keep in mind, much like Applebee’s, you are paying more for atmosphere than the actual product.
full house on opening day
Employee of the month, Olivia
all hail Club K.O., the only place to go for a great cup of joe.
Bradley Clipperhands vs. Goldilocks
You never know the events that will take place when a rambunctious 9 year old and his uncle have time on their hands. I was fortunate to catch this rare interaction on video and I thought I would share it with you. Oh yeah, we didn’t tell his mom about this either. Love ya honey and hope you like it.
Had some youtube problems, so we used dailymotion this time. I hope you can hear it.
We really appreciate it!
First and foremost, I want to thank everyone for their support and prayers. I really think it helps, and I am not just saying that. Second, I want to give everyone a quick update, Jo is still with us this week and it looks like she will be with us until Sunday. After that, we will only have her from Friday to Sunday, and I don’t know how long that will last. We are struggling between what is best for Jo, and what we can stand emotionally. I know I have felt spent the last week, physically, mentally and spiritually. Just flat wore out, as they say back in Tra’s home town, and I am hoping for a renewal this weekend.
Third, and I hate to harp on this because I know everyone is busy, believe me, but it seems that we have hit an extremely busy portion of our year. As you have seen, Dorian started basketball with practices every day at different times just to make it fun, I am coaching Ben’s basketball team with practices, and then games at least twice a week, Alli, Olivia, and Kassie are all doing dance, two high school classes every day, therapy, Dr. appointments….. just like everyone else. Oh and to top it off, Tra got a flat on her brand new tire, a blow out on the sidewall, so she has been driving the van, all 11 miles per gallon of it.
So today I left for work at 0630, after trading for an hour and 1/2, then got home at 4:30, took Livy straight to dance by 4:50, went and coached Ben’s game at 5:30, drove 20 miles from there to Nikiski to watch the end of Dorian’s game, drove 40 minutes home from his game to eat from 8:20 to 8:35, left home and went to dance and picked up Alli and Chloe, drove Chloe home, came home with Alli and did stock research till now, 10 pm.
Without complaining, I just haven’t had time to work on doing a good family post and I feel bad. Pretty much every day this week has been like this, and maybe it is a good thing. Maybe it helps keep my mind occupied, but man I am just plumb drained this week. To make matters worse, we have noticed a change in Jo, and we think she senses something is going on, so please continue to pray for her. Tomorrow, Friday, I think I will have some time to do a good post, no basketball games, just dance, school, practice and getting a tire replaced.
So now that I have bummed you out, I will include a video I found particularly funny. Of course that doesn’t mean anything because, as many of you already know, I have a particularly sick sense of humor. I really, really get a kick out of the cameraman, the fact that he is laughing just slays me, because, as ashamed as I am to admit it, that would’ve probably been me.
Need a laugh.
Update on Dorian, his second game he had four points, a rebound, an assist and a blocked shot!! So they called a foul on the block shot, but it was sweet, especially for the second smallest guy on the team. He swatted that shot right out of play, even his team mates were shouting about it. That has always been one of his favorite things to do, block shots. Well, it has been a while since I posted a video not about “the family” so I figure it was about time. This is Thor Ramsey and he is pretty funny. I can relate to a lot of what he says so that makes him all the more funnier to me. There are some great christian comedians out there and he is one of them. So if you are in the mood for a laugh click on the video below and enjoy. The video is just under 5 minutes long. Oh, btw, they won their game again and he plays again today!
