The life and times of the Godfrey ten.

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2011 Christmas Letter

The 2011 Christmas letter is done. It is not short, it is not sweet, but it does contain over 100 pictures and I know a lot of you just look at the pictures (Tra). All you need to do is click the link at the top that says “2011 Christmas Letter” it is in the black border. It is a page so it will stay on here forever. That way for those of you that got a new ipad for Christmas, you can read it over and over during your “ahem” private time, or on your thinking throne.

 

May God bless you and prosper you and draw you closer to him in this upcoming new year. God Bless, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!

The Alaska Grown Costa Rican Ripened Godfreys.


A Turtle’s Pace Part II

After paying our fees, at an open air shack filled with 5 Ticos wearing some semblance of shirts with turtles on them, making them obvious official turtle guides, we embarked on the second half of our journey. $8 for non-residents, was the fee for our “guided” tour of the beach. There were about 15 students and 10 adults, a salty group ready to stretch their legs. After money changed hands, we were issued our official green passes, and then canvas bags, which we were informed were to be used to gather trash. Cool, we pay to work. So that’s how socialism works.  As we began walking towards the beach, the rain clouds moved in. No worries, as long as the turtles were there it would all be worth it. They were not.

Some major log moving going onLet's not move this one, it's too comfy.

I knew this was the only turtle we would see on this day.

We walked and walked and walked. We saw signs of turtles, drag marks, egg pieces and even a big old dead turtle. But no baby turtles and certainly no big momma turtles. After trudging for what seemed like miles in the black gritty sand, our guide finally spoke and asked us to help clean up the driftwood so the turtles would have more nesting room. So not only did we have to pay to see nothing and pick up trash, we had a good 1/2 hour of hard labor.  We had resigned to our fate that we had just paid $8 per person to clean up trash, move driftwood, walk in the rain, and do things we could do every day in Guanacaste for free. Perhaps we could find turtles on the other side of the beach. I was clearly not hopeful. For after conversing with several of the turtle attendees who had attended several turtle coming outs in the past, the best time to come was very early in the morning, or at night, not 9 am. As I walked back along the surf lane allowing my feet to be washed off by the ever beating surf, I noticed a small portion of our group gathering up the beach a little. I altered course . As I walked into the small circle I heard cameras clicking, oohs and aahs, and saw some pretty big smiles. There were several baby turtles emerging from beach!

We see turtles emerging from the eggs buried in the depth of the black sands.

It was amazing to watch, first about six turtles, then 15, 20, 40, 60, 64 at final count. It was like a clown car at a circus, they just kept coming and coming directly out of the black sand. Slowly moving, covered in dirt trying to find their way. A few knew right where to go, others wandered off to the left or the right, but eventually they all seemed to at least point to surf. Maybe not directly, but at least at an angle that would get them there. The journey ahead of them was long and arduous, for they were about the size of a silver dollar, and about 1/3 the weight. Every footprint, stick or pebble presented an obstacle. A few got flipped over, some got stuck, some had to alter course completely, but all were determined to make it to their destination. It was then that I realized we were the turtles. We had a long and arduous journey, we had to alter course, we had to climb up and down the footprints left by nature, but we were determined to make it to our destination. The only difference, the baby turtles got stronger with every flip of their flippers, and we got a little weaker with every pothole.

Finding their way.

guess what I have!

At least now the journey to the surf had been worth it. We had seen what very few had ever witnessed. The sheer determination and pure beauty of God’s creation. The instinctive drive to survive no matter how hard. Events like these always affirm my belief in a creator. It seems incredulous to me to believe something so perfect as the circle of life could ever happen by accident. If you ever take a quiet moment to think about the true miracle of life, both in humans and creatures, of flora and fauna, it seems impossible to me to come to any conclusion other than the conclusion that it is planned. All of it. Each and every morsel. And nothing will affirm my faith in that more than seeing it in action with my own two eyes.

For many more pictures, video, and commentary enjoy our following two minute documentary.

P.S. On the way in I related a story about a teenager leading us on a false shortcut. On the way home we let a teenager lead us to the best Pizza place in all of Costa Rica. “The road is a little sketchy” he warned, but that pizza is good. When a road is barely passable by bicycle, covered in spider webs, and drops down 100 feet a time; that my friends is not the sign of good pizza place. This trail made the previous trail look like the Autobahn. It was steep, tiny, overgrown, full of fissures, gorges and gashes, muddy, slick and deadly. In short, it was scary. However once we turned down, there was no turning back. What we wouldn’t do for great pizza. How was the pizza? We will never know, it was closed for the season. Needless to say, those of us driving were not too happy with our teenage connoisseur. If you want directions I will give them freely, however be aware because there may be a former Gold Coast teenager roaming the roads chanting, ” the road is sketchy, but the pizza is good, the road is sketchy, but the pizza is good!”


200

Today I noticed that this post would be my 200th post. At first I thought 200 was not that much, but I have realized that it is actually quite a bit, especially considering that I am not writing about current events, news or anything like that, I am writing about life and our family. Our journey to a family of 10 in Alaska to a family of 9 in Costa Rica. The very first post was in September of 2008, which means it took me over 3 years to get 200 published posts. Lately I have resolved myself to adding a new post on an average of at least one a week, and I am proud to say that I am ahead of schedule this year. Perhaps relocating to Costa Rica has helped a little.

Most of the posts have been very light-hearted and fun, some however have been very dark, sad and therapeutic. Whatever the style, they all have their own pace and feel. Some have taken me days to write, others minutes, some are done in minutes but I hesitate to post them, others I have written and have never posted. But as I reflect back on the last 199 posts I have come to realize that this tiny little blog has help me connect more with God, myself, my family and friends. It has help me come to grips with some big happenings in my life, and in the live’s of those I love. It has been fun and it has been tedious at times. Sometimes I struggled to find something worthy of writing about, something anyone would even care about. And I always have to go back to why I am writing and who am I writing for. Originally it was so our family and friends could see into the lives of a big family, a special family, at least in my mind. Now we are way away from anywhere I thought we would be from my first post. It has evolved into a blog about a crazy big family that has moved from one corner of the world to another, on a whim, some would say. So for blog post 200, instead of sharing the most popular posts I thought I would share some of my personal favorite posts. The ones that affected me and others the most.  They may not have been the most popular or most light-hearted, but they had something in them that just had that extra special meaning. I know everyone always enjoys new materials and new pictures, but these are all some re-posts of days gone by. As we all know, each and every post will be out there for all eternity, because as they say once you put it on the web, it will never go away. So if you are bored on a rainy/ snowy day, scroll the tags or topics on the right, or put in a keyword to see what you might find. There are over 200 to chose from!

Probably the overall most popular posts are the Christmas Letters. They are always at the top of the blog and you click there to read them. It is the year in review, and those usually take the longest for me to write, so I am glad at least someone is reading them.

The second most popular are the ones with lots of pictures. Now, as the writer of this blog this causes me a little concern. I have a feeling there are a few of you that are just looking for the latest greatest pic, and not reading a word I type. Darn the twitter generation! However, I think those are my wife’s favorite as well, so they can’t be all bad.

A wet lens……

A Mountain of a Trip……

Pura Vida

My Favorite Story Teller

Without question, the posts that caused the most reaction are the ones with Jo, when we were going through our transition with her. It was one of the most difficult things we had ever dealt with as a family. I don’t know why I wrote about it like I did, but I really think it helped to put it into words and the response was very big. Not just a comment on the blog, but a full email, a phone call, a visit the reactions were amazing. These posts mostly wrote themselves in minutes and made me thankful I had this little blog to use for therapy.

At what cost?

Drizzle

Our hope is in Uhmorrow

I’m Really Sorry

These are a couple of miscellaneous ones that had pretty big hits. The real Costa Rica I could understand via google. It was from our first trip to Costa Rica and it was an eye opener for us.   Awkward Conversations; I don’t know why but that one seemed to strike a note with people. Although I didn’t get a lot of comments on the blog, again I had a lot of personal reactions. The next one I did not anticipate at all. It was a simple blog on me grilling some ribs for my birthday, and I thought I would be cute with the title. Apparently, a lot of people google that song because it still gets a lot of hits to this very day. Who knew?

I have a BBQ stain on my white T-shirt

The real Costa Rica

Awkward Conversations

So there you have it, Post 200 is now in the books, or on the web for all eternity. If you have time you can click-through to some of the above listed posts to see the variety of activity that we have encountered throughout the last 3 years. However, I will warn you that the middle section can be a little heavy, and it still affects me to this very day. I like to think that I have another 200 posts in me, and with our recent relocation I hope that will give me interesting fodder for the next few years. Stay tuned, and thank you so much for reading, and I really thank you for the comments and kind words. Glenn


Goodbyes are great!

okay, maybe they aren’t great, but I don’t hate them. I don’t look forward to them, and don’t seek them out, but I think they reveal some very important things. First of all, if you are the one leaving then you are starting a new chapter, section or paragraph, something different. If you are the one staying, well then you are excited  for your friend, excited to hear what they end up doing, where they are going, what they encounter and the chance to see them again. I find the difficult thing is if you are the one leaving, your mind is not always on the moment. Your mind is on your travels, ” did I pack enough chargers, did I cancel the cable, the phone, everything?, Did I make the reservations, are my bags to heavy, who is this hugging me and crying on my shoulders?”

Secondly, hard goodbyes really show you something. Those goodbyes you are dreading the most, the ones you save for last, the ones that every time you think about saying goodbye a lump forms in your throat and your stomach churns to the verge of throwing up. Those are the good ones. Those are the ones that let you know that you made an impact on someone’s life and they made an impact on yours. Those people, those moments are life changers. I think we should all strive to build those kind of relationships, those relationships that hurt like a kick in the gut when it is time to let go. For if the pain is that severe, then the good times were that much grander.

Soldotna has been a life changer for us. We have never had such hard goodbyes. We had invested so much of our lives in the community, in our church and in our friends, we had let down our guards and lived for the moment, so that  it hurt real bad to say goodbye. It wasn’t like a kick in the stomach, it was like a good old-fashioned UFC beat down. We said goodbye on Sunday, Monday, Tuesday and Wednesday and with each goodbye it got harder and harder, the awkwardness building up to the moment, to that final hug is almost unbearable. This time, I have never seen so many tears, sobs and snot for that matter.I have never felt so much tension and seen the art of postponement used to such extreme extent. It  is an amazing feeling, a true blessing to know that so many people care about you and you care about so many people.

And although my mind was in a haze of massive details involved in relocating nine people to another country, I still managed to feel the pain. I still managed to shed tears and snot, and I still managed to feel that deep heavy weight buried in my soul; especially when I had to apologize to one very special girl for leaving her behind. I felt it in every hug, in every letter and card and in every passing moment. Yes it hurt, yes it was the second most grief and heaviness I have ever felt and it made my head, heart, back, throat and soul ache. But I reveled in every goodbye, I reveled in the awkward postponement and I reveled in the pain. So enjoy those goodbyes, enjoy that fact that someone you love is leaving, but remember it only hurts because you cared. Also remember, the pain is fleeting but your impact is eternal.

Goodbye, and Hasta la Pronto


How to shed a few hundred pounds

As D-day (departure day) approaches us like a charging bear, life changes from hectic to frantic. Moving houses is a huge task, moving cities is a giant task, moving states is a humongous task, and moving countries is an overwhelming task. There is so much to think about, so much to plan and so much to execute that it makes us physically exhausted, not figuratively, but physically exhausted. Our minds are cluttered, our days our cluttered, our house is cluttered and our shed was cluttered. You see in the midst of all this working and planning we managed to have a day of unplanned fun.

It was a pouring rain Saturday, a miserable day by any Alaskan’s standard sans the salmon. One of those days where the rain pounded so hard of the dark wet asphalt that the drops that missed you jumped up from the asphalt to bite you in the leg. It was of course the day I had chosen to empty our shed; for a few days prior we had found out that it was sitting on the electrical easement, right where the electric company HAD to put the box. The options; move the shed or get rid of the shed. My inclination was to sell it and have someone else move it. So Ryan and I began the task of moving the mounds of “stuff” from the shed to the garage. I must admit that I was somewhat embarrassed and ashamed of the stuff we just had to store. I know I took at least a truck load directly to the dump. Finally after a few hours the shed was empty and ready to be displayed to a potential buyer. Sure it was a little crooked, but there had to be someone out there that needed a 16X12 crooked tongue and groove shed. Right? I mean people in this state got a lot of stuff. Just then, as we loaded up for our dump run Jason shows up, presumably to help but I suspect that he wanted to make sure I wasn’t getting rid of any good stuff he might need. That’s when the trouble began.

You see now there are three men of action sitting around looking at a leaning shed,  a worthless leaning shed. It took but a second for Jason to convince us that the shed was worthless and that it would be impossible to move without destroying it and instead we should tear it down. Well that sounded way too fun to resist, and without any planning, safety briefing, or permit, we found some straps hooked em up to the old Suburban and began to tear down that shed.

I can’t say things didn’t go as planned, because there was no planning, but they didn’t go as expected. Further, that darn worthless shed, crooked as piece of Homer driftwood, was stinking hard to destroy. It took several takes and many different tactics before we got her off her skids and drug her right in the middle of our driveway. Now what? We were stuck, the driveway was blocked, and the shed looked sturdier than ever. After several attempts to flip it over, it was time for old blue to roar to life. We got my truck running, full of trash mind you, and I proceeded to use it as a battering ram to knock the shed over. I have blogged about my truck in the past, it is blue, it is damaged, it is loud and it is a 5 speed manual, or what you would call a man’s truck and it begs to be used for more than dump runs. So as I sat in the seat I could feel the engine vibrating through my hand which sat on the shift handle. I gave the engine a few good deep revs and proceeded to back right into the shed. With each attempt I gained more confidence until finally I was able to go hard and fast enough to push it over the edge, without destroying old blue.  Much better,we then had a crushed shed in the middle of our driveway.

This was a time to plan, over a cup of coffee and some cupcakes of course. The plan was to start cutting, ripping, smashing and tearing and we would load it on a trailer and take it to the dump. Again, contrary to our so-called plans, Jason decides half way into the plan that this shed needs a fire. So after some prodding I provided him with my favorite fire starter. Within 1/2 hour he had two fires going, and one was big enough to be seen from space. So now we had a smashed shed, power tools, fire and rain. It doesn’t get any better than that. Cutting, ripping, smashing, breaking, throwing, burning repeat, and so the rest of the day went. Of course we had to eat so there was a chicken taco break, candy, cupcakes and a smorgasbord of smores. But hey, we could indulge after all we just got done shedding a couple hundred pounds. Did I mention there was video?


Happy Birthday

In honor of the number 1 follower of this blog and the love of my life’s birthday, today’s blog is dedicated to my wife. She is the backbone of this family and we are lucky to have her. She is a giver, giving her love, her time, and encouragement. She is the backbone of this family and without her we would all be hunchbacked for sure. She is organized but fun, emotional but goofy, motherly but approachable, loving but stern, spontaneous yet planning, young yet mature, God-loving and forgiving; She is balanced and she is ours. We all love her and we appreciate so much all she does for us and all she gives for us. We cannot wait to see what the future has for us, and daunting as that may be, if we are all together, our spine is in tact, and God is our beacon, we will be exactly where we are supposed to be. So happy birthday to Tracy, my soul mate and our perennial mother of the year. You truly improve with each year.

This video is the kids gift to you. One that can be enjoyed for years to come, if you can stand it.

An addendum requested by Tracy. She loves this guy, although I think he is a bit goofy looking, so I told her I would add him to the blog. He has a great voice, an obvious talent, just a little off- putting. I can’t quite put my finger on it. But alas, anything for my love on her birthday.


The Blur

A while back I wrote on milestones, and they seem to keep on coming. I guess that’s what happens when you have a passle of youngen’s who keep reaching em. I know when I reflect on my life, I can see clear and present milestones strewn throughout. The big ones, graduating highschool, going to college ( note I did not say graduating college) getting married, having kids, getting a career and they keep on coming. One huge one that I keep reflecting on is my marriage. Not the marriage as a whole, but the event itself. You see I was 20 when I got married, and my folks, well they were 39 &40. I remember looking at them and thinking that they were old, despite my peers having parents much older than mine. Just recently I realized that I am now older than both my parents were when I got married. Did you hear that? I am older than those old people that were at my wedding, and I still have a little kids running around my house and will for a while.

Now, I don’t feel old. And unlike every UFC fighter about to take the ring, I do not feel I’m in “the best shape of my life”, but I feel okay. My bones creak, my back aches, my hair….. well we all know about that one. I can still run for 3-4 miles, still do a few push-ups and sit-ups, still remember most things, but I definitely feel  a change. You know how your grandpa would say ” the weather is going to change, I can feel it in my bones”? Well apparently that is a skill that improves with age, and I now have it in my left knee. Sure, the Dr. calls it arthritis, but it is more accurate than my weather app.

Baby Olivia

Where was I going with all this? Ah yes, milestones. Well I just took my sweet little baby to get her driving permit, and she did something that no one in this house has ever done; she passed on her very first try. What makes this a milestone is that she is not my oldest. Dorian is already driving, and Alli could be if she had any motivation at all. The thing that makes it special is that I remember the very first time I saw Olivia. Tracy had come to see me half-way through the Trooper Academy in Sitka. I had never seen Olivia before that. So she signifies my job, and my time on the job, and this period of our life. I have been on this job long enough for her to go from the womb to driver’s seat. For some reason that period between her laying on the beige flower covered comforter in the Sitka Motel 8, swaddled in a pink blanket with her dark big cheeks, dark eyes and black hair; to her posing for her permit picture just a couple days ago, that period is a blur. How did we get here from there?

Glenn's graduation from the Trooper Academy 1996

Yet, also, when I look back at the picture of my graduation from the Academy, 14 years ago, I see a young boy that I hardly recognize. I try to recall what I was thinking, where I thought I may end up. I don’t recall having any big plans other than working for 25-30 years and retiring; I don’t recall ever thinking that I may have 8 kids, or live in Soldotna. I didn’t know what life had in store for us, but I was pretty sure it would be exciting. At that exact moment, I am sure I was just happy that it was over, that that milestone which was so taxing was done and I was onto the next stressful challenge. I had no idea that some of my future best friends were only 15 years old at the time, that I would live in a log house, or ever own or want to own a 15-passenger van. Yet here I am, and there I stood, holding Olivia, Dorian and Alli in front of me and Tracy beside me. I was young, nieve, excited, skinny and I still had a little hair. And as l look back remembering, I wonder if I knew then what I know now how much would I have changed? I know this for sure, I am glad that little tuft of hair is gone, because I still have to teach at least 6 more kids how to drive and I would hate to be pulling it out all over the car.


soaking wet dead rabbits

What in the world is a soaking wet dead rabbit, you ponder. Well it is a bit of long story, hence the blog. You see we weren’t doing much on Labor Day, so we decided to make a few calls and see if anyone wanted to do a little bbqing. We ended up having a few people show up for some impromptu unplanned bbq action. Surprise, one of those groups was the Daniels clan. Prior to all this, we had been enjoying selling stuff on Craigslist, lots of stuff; It is quite addicting. One of the things we had for sale was a drum set, which I had put outside the garage waiting for the intended buyers. Just Prior to this, Ben had gotten an electric guitar for his birthday, with an amp. And if you have ever come over for a late night Karaoke session, you know we always have microphone on hand. Now, the stage is set, literally.

So as the adults sat inside chatting and eating, we started hearing some “music” coming from outside. I snuck out to investigate and what I saw was a garage band, or more literally an outside the garage band. Jace had taken lead on the guitar, Ben had started drumming (which I did not know he could do or I would not have sold the drums) Kayden had grabbed some maracas and Jo/ Livy was playing the keyboard, all outside the garage. And the shocker of it all, it actually sounded pretty decent, at least as good as some of the videos I have seen on YouTube. The best part, it was an impromptu jam, which has never happened at our house, unless you include Tracy and I screaming Air Supply songs at the top of our lungs, which if done in the right room are quite touching. It actually made me feel like we were the “cool house” even more than usual.

I know, I know what does this have to do with soaking wet dead rabbits!? Well, you see during all this Livy and Livy were up to something, sneaking around the house. We could tell the two animal lovers were trying to accomplish some wilderness adventure, and soon we found out what it was. They had found a dead rabbit near the neighbor’s house and decided to carry it around and show people. It was quite a lovely endeavor for two pretty young ladies, and pretty much right up their alley. Immediately we yelled at them to throw that thing away, the same way we did with the dead birds, dead mice, dead hamsters and dead critter they had found over the years.

Then, at some point Angie was commenting about the day and mentioned those darn girls and that “soaking wet dead rabbit”. Instantly it struck me, that is the name of the band. They sound, look, and were born on the day of the “soaking wet dead rabbit”. So stay tuned to your YouTube, iTunes and Zune because very soon I predict the first single will be released of the Soaking Wet Dead Rabbits, followed by a live concert at our place. You’ll just have to dodge a few dead animals along the way.  And if it goes well, I predict an Air Supply cover band will soon follow, with yours truly as the lead.

Until then, please for you to enjoy, the first two songs combined into one, from the Soaking Wet Dead Rabbits ( with special guest Jrew Dee on vocals)


Awkward Conversations (AC)

Have you ever had an awkward conversation (AC)? I know you have. They are never fun and most often not fruitful. But the unexpected one is a lot loss painful. It’s like jumping off a cliff into the ocean. If you are peering over the edge and someone unexpectedly pushes you over, it’s awful and scary and once you are in it there is no way out until you belly flop, and that’ll leave you stinging and with a red belly, but likely you will survive.

 

The master of awkward conversations, Michael Scott

 

In my mind it is even worse when you know you are going to jump off the cliff yourself. You gingerly, slowly walk over to the edge, instantly sweat beads on your forehead, your mouth dry and sticky, you can feel the blood rushing through your veins and doubts flying around your brain like a million racquetballs. Your heart beating so hard that it literally makes you conscious of your breathing. The whole while you put on a brave face , smiling a crooked nervous smile, while fear lurks deep in your eyes. The anticipation of what you have to do, knowing the pain and shear fear seconds away, making it all more nerve-racking than ever.

Seem a little overly dramatic? Not to me. I absolutely hate AC; I don’t mind watching them, I just don’t like being involved in them. I especially hate them when I know they are coming. Seems a little odd in my profession. I mean pretty much every conversation I have is confrontational;   I am accusing someone of wrong – doing, grilling them , or talking  to them at what they perceive is one of the worst moments of their life.

Why am I having this AC with you all right now? Well I just had one of  these, and it was perhaps the worst one I have ever had. I was dreading it for weeks, which obviously made it much worse. I prayed, I thought, I sought advice and waited for God’s timing to have it, yet still it was very rough. Man to man, minimal eye contact, lots of hemming and hawing. But unlike most awkward conversations, this one was an awkward request conversation, so that is like an AC on steroids.

Once it is done, there is usually a sense a relief, just like when you realize that bear charging you out of the woods is your hiking partner trying to scare you, that type of relief. I didn’t get full relief because I left a big Matza Ball out there and I am still waiting for an answer. One thing I have learned is that although I may absolutely dread the thought and action of the AC, I will always regret it more if I don’t follow through. So next time I pull you aside and say “I need to talk to you about something” brace yourself for a belly flop. Then again, you may be one of the freaks that like that AC, and that’s a blog for another day.


Happy Birthday to Me!!

So it isn’t actually my birthday, it’s the blog’s birthday. Yes this blog is now a year old, and my oh my how it has grown. One year was key for me, very key. You see I hate being an average statistic. For some reason that just sticks in my craw (have no idea what that is but I hope it isn’t bad). If you know me you may have picked up some clues. For instance, the average American family has 2.1 kids we have a few more. The average American gets married between June and October, we got married in December ( much to the shagrin of someone). The median age for a first marriage, 27, me 20. About 3% of American kids are home schooled all of ours have been, in fact we probably account for 1% of that in our family alone.

happy-birthday-old-fella-300x204

So what does all these stats have to do with anything? I am very glad you asked. You see when I first started this blog ( after influence from my Jedi blog master Ty at  schemanski shenanigans ) I read a stat. This stat stated that something like 92% of all blogs do not last 1 year. So there it was staring me right in the face, a challenge, a glove to the kisser and I knew right then, even if the only people that ever read it was me, Tracy and my mom, I would be blogging for at least 1 year. So you see this day means a lot to me. My last challenge was from twitter, the average twitter has 112 followers, you know what that means! Don’t follow me on twitter unless you really like the stock market and charts, cuz that is all I talk about.

happy bday monkey

I am glad to see that we have a pretty consistent and growing readership and I really really enjoy the comments, emails, cards etc. They keep me motivated to keep on writing. I must say, this past year has had some of the most difficult moments ever in our lives, and it was theraputic for me to write about them on this blog. I was very conflicted whether or not to post those blogs, they only took me moments to write, but hours to decide whether or not to publish. In hindsight I am glad I did. They were some of our most read posts.

jake happy 2

In closing, I want to thank you all so much for reading the blog and encouraging us, for prayers, thoughts and kind words. I especially want to thank those who take the time to comment, whether on our facebook link or on the actual blog. It seems to intimidate people, so I love to see those that do step out. Some of our all star commenters are Liz, Alli, Chelsea, Ty, & Brad. But our top two have been STEPHEN Stephen’s blog, and NIKI schemanski shenanigans, they are the winners of the annual akgodfreys commenters Oscars. Congrats, you two deserve it.

I will finish today’s rambling with links to our top ten posts over the past year in order of popularity. Dumb I know since they are the most popular you have already read them eh? Maybe I should do the least popular and have you read those ones instead, that’ll teach ya! Nope, most popular in order.

1. I have a bbq stain on my white t-shirt This one gets a lot of hits due to people searching for this song. It was not intended.

2. 2009 Christmas Letter Mostly about Florida

3. Costa Rica Day 4 Surf\’s Up! The whole time we were in Costa the blog was hit hard, it was great.

4. Apparently Popping and Locking Refers to the Knees in Hip Hop Dancing Alli’s knee surgery was very popular, probably due to the nasty pics of her knee.

5. Costa Rica Day 12/13 A Thorn in my Heel

6. Costa Rica Last Full Day, Sailing Take me Away

7. At What Cost The day we had to drop Jo off.

8. The Real Costa Rica First Day in Costa

9. Kodiak Moment = Orlando Trip Some of Dorian’s pictures showing off his skills that earned him a trip to Orlando for Fine Arts.

10. It\’s not about the money it\’s about the memories The first time we found out that Jo was leaving us, this one had quite a few comments as well.

So there you have it, they span over various topics, moods and time periods. I wanted to repost the very first blog I ever did, but I moved hosts since then and I couldn’t find it. Trust me, it was no big loss.


Drizzle

Life is full of ups and downs, but the downs are much more intense. I liken it to weather. If you think back to some of the nicest weather you have ever experienced; likely it was warm, sunny, and if you are like me, it was on or near water. Nice, pleasant memories. Now think back to the worst weather you have been in. I am willing to bet it is a much more intense memory, rain, wind, lightning; I bet you can still hear it, smell it, perhaps taste it, but definitely re-live it, and if you are like me, likely it was on water which makes it much much much worse. I bet if you think about it long enough, you will feel your heart pitter a little.
It is my observation life is the same. I can think back to the highs of my life, the good weather, and there has been a lot of it. When I think back to the storms, there have not been nearly as many of them, but they have affected me much more adversly. They have left life long impressions on my mind, heart and soul. Today was one of those storms, and this my friends was a catergory five, one of the top five of my life, and I would venture the same for Tra. Today at 5 pm we drove to the gas station 1 mile from our house, like we have for years. Poignent to the day, it was raining, not a hard rain, but a consistant drizzle, the worst kind. There we met the man that was to take our daughter away from us forever.
The day was Sunday the 19th of July 2009, a day that is now forever seared in my heart. I should have known when I walked out to start my car and it was dead, and the van was dead, with the jumper cables already at church with Tra. Apparently an air-soft battle the night prior had resulted in the cars being used for shelter, with the windows rolled down and the keys left on all night. An hour later I was finally able to get my hands on some cables and got the cars running. I knew it would be an emotional day. I had felt from the time I got out of bed that my head was in a fog; sounds were distant, thoughts unclear, numb and trying not to think about 5 pm.
In church, Pastor Steve called us forward to pray for our family, which pretty much emptied all our tanks and the tanks of all those praying for us. It was a strong, deep emotional time. In some small way, it was reassuring, but it did not take away the inevitable pain, it just unleashed it outwardly manifesting itself on our entire family.
The afternoon was spent with Jo time, coloring, building a rabbit, playing with a rabbit, eating bad food, crying, praying and much more crying. Then faster than a speeding bullet, it was 4:45. Tracy worked to finish packing Jo’s box, partially filling it with the salt from here tears. Our intent was to meet at the same gas station we always had, in two cars then off to church.
In my heart I prayed that his beat up old red GMC would not be there, but soon I knew that was not the case, and my heart and hopes sank. I pulled in, not making eye contact, me and my boys. Soon after Tra and the girls pulled in behind me. I knew I was on the edge of a breakdown, I could feel it in my stomach, knots, butterflies, vomit, pain, it was all there. As I walked back to her car I grabbed the blue tote full of Jo’s memories from our house. As I handed them to the man I said “here is her stuff” some of the last words I was able to utter. When I turned around around, Jo was locked around Tra’s neck, small tears flowing from here eyes, and sobs from Tra’s, I was soon to follow. Then it was my turn, and as she locked around me I could feel my strength releasing. I could see she was not nearly as troubled to leave me as she was her mom, but still visibly upset. As I gave her back to Tra, I fought back the tears, clenching my jaw and clearing my throat. I had talked to the man already explaining the huge responsibility he was now taking on his shoulders. I had more I wanted to say. I had big plans, perhaps one of my greatest speeches ever, filled with words of wisdom that would cause him to change his mind. But as I looked at Jo, now crying in his arms, the only thing that came out of my mouth was a moan. I ran back to my car not looking here nor there, managing to get out “you better take good care of her, bye I love you Jo”. Then I sat in my car in front of my boys and sobbed.
It was over, a day that I prayed would never come, and prayed hard. A day that dozens had prayed would never come, but it had. I felt anger, ready to punch a hole through a wall, but I don’t like doing sheet rock work, I felt betrayal, why had it come to this? It makes no earthly sense. I felt loss, loss of a child, loss of a loved one. I felt fear, fear for her and her life, but most of all I felt pain. Pain that she will always think we abandoned her, that we didn’t want her, that she was never “ours”. Pain of all the memories that we had yet to make, all the growth we had yet to see, and the vision of what God had planned for her. Pain for Tra, Pain for my kids Pain for me, but mostly Pain for Jo.
That was yesterday, and the pain remains. I imagine with time the pain will subside. But we will still pray, day and night for Jo, we will be thankful for the great weather we have had with her, her three birthday parties, our trip to Orlando, picnics, fishing on the boat, picking berries,tea parties, building bears, Christmas’s, sledding and so much more. But we will never be able to forget the storm we have just experienced. Do we still have hope? Yes. Do we still have faith? Yes, but probably not as much as we should. As I look out my window I see the drizzle still falling and I know the worst thing about this type of rain is that unlike a torrential down pour, it tends to last for a long time.

Wi Filess

We have been without Internet for a week. Therefore, I have not been able to update the blog. We still have no Internet, well I guess that’s not 100% true. We have my wireless card that gives us very minimal Internet, and of course we have our iphones.

So now a quick update. Grandpa’s funeral went very well, as well as a funeral can go. The weather was beautiful, the service was great, and we got to see some long lost family. The bad part; Jo was very sick, sick enough that she threw up no less than a dozen times and gave me a reason to take my sport jacket off. The reason, well let’s just say it was the opposite of vomit and it ended up on my nice jacket. We eventually had to take her to the emergency room on Sunday night, the night she was supposed to go back to Jerry’s house. Instead, she stayed in the ER until about 2:30 and came home with Tra. Needless to say it was a rough night, imprinting an everlasting memory on our minds. Now we are in the final weekend with Jo, but we are still believing for a miracle, and if it doesn’t happen, we will trust that things are as the Lord wants them. Tomorrow we are having an early birthday bash for Jo, and I can’t wait. We pray for good weather and great times with friends. I will have several normal blogs soon with pictures and everything, just as soon as we get some wi-fi back in da house!
We are extremely grateful for your prayers!

Bradley Clipperhands vs. Goldilocks

You never know the events that will take place when a rambunctious 9 year old and his uncle have time on their hands. I was fortunate to catch this rare interaction on video and I thought I would share it with you. Oh yeah, we didn’t tell his mom about this either. Love ya honey and hope you like it.

Had some youtube problems, so we used dailymotion this time. I hope you can hear it.


A sno-go Sunday

It has been difficult to blog since we have come home from Costa Rica. It just does not seem as exciting or interesting, and the material has somehow lost its luster. But we will persevere and fight through and together we can get back in the groove. So if there is something you want to know about, let me know and I will offer up a blog on it.

First an update on Jo. Recently I realized that I had not updated all of you as to the status, that is because the status is quo. We pick up Jo on Friday at 5 pm and then drop her off Sunday at 5 pm. This has been going on since before we left for vacation and will continue until????? We have still seen signs that cause us concern, so please continue to pray. 

Her last weekend here we took the opportunity to go out on our snowmachine, a machine given to us by some extremely giving people. I took most of the kids out and let them drive me around, and they had a blast. You may recall, about 4 years ago Dorian had a little “incident” on a snowmachine a few years back and we haven’t gone out much since. 

 

Now hold on tight!!!

Now hold on tight!!!

 

 

Ben tended to get a little throttle happy, and at one point I thought he was determined to jump the Sterling Highway, and not on purpose. His second time out he seemed to have the hang of it. 

 

Ready for takeoff

Ready for takeoff

 

 

Olivia was a natural. She has the touch and went just the right speed for dad’s taste. 

 

Livy scaring daddy

Livy scaring daddy

 

 

Kassie too seemed to have a great touch and as usual her smile never left her face, which in turn made me smile. 

 

Ben waiting patiently for his second turn

Ben waiting patiently for his second turn

 

 

Jake and Jo loved it. Though a little apprehensive at first, they soon warmed up to the adventure and the next thing I knew they had their hands on the throttle and apparently thought that I should go a little faster. 

 

If we are not back in 5 minutes, send out the Troopers.

If we are not back in 5 minutes, send out the Troopers.

march-2009-026_640x480

I thought we were going on a hay ride.

 

The next thing I knew, 2 hours had flown by and it was time to get ready for Sunday night church. Now if I could only get mom to come out for a ride, then I would have accomplished something. She has this “thing” about outside activities in the winter. My true Alaskan woman.

Jo showing daddy how to go faster

Jo showing daddy how to go faster


What did you say? That’s what I thought.

I would like to ask for comments and insight from the readers of this blog. I know there are a few of you, and one of my joys and reasons for doing my blogs is for the comments and insight I get back, good or bad. So please take a second to jot one down. If you go to the end of the post and click on the comment button you just fill out your name (real or fake like David) your email ( will not be published but just so that I can respond) and write comment and click the button. Then I have to approve it and it is posted. No swearing or off color stuff, but other than that I will approve. Also, if you want you can subscribe via RSS or another reader and every time I add a post it will be delivered to you instead of you having to look for the post. Thanks. AKOT


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